The Julie Effect \ the jew-lee i-’fekt \ n. (2010) : that which is in Julie’s control and therefore goes terribly, terribly wrong because her brain was turned to mush that time she watched the Real Housewives of New Jersey on purpose and enjoyed it.

The phrase “The Julie Effect” was coined by a friend who has intimate experience with the Murphy’s Law-type phenomenon that follows me around like a cloud of farts and is probably not always my fault and that manifests itself at really inconvenient times and often enough that it can’t reasonably be considered an anomaly. Like, I was recently awarded eight parking tickets in a one-month period for the exact same offense. My dog jumped on an old lady in the middle of street because I thought it would be better to just let go of the leash than be dragged with her and break a heel or a nail. I once accidentally divulged to a colleague my true feelings about his wife’s physical appearance because I didn’t understand how the comments section in Web photo albums works. I dated a cop.*

*That one is not really my fault because I was in my 20s and I learned from him that U-turns are actually legal in a lot of circumstances, so that kind of changed my life.

Always being in the line of my own fire predictably led me down a path of sheer self-absorption, to the exclusion of most other things and people for a long, long time. Equally predictably, this near-constant hyper focus on my own self and my own self’s self-centered-ness, as attractive a quality as that may be, was bound to come to an end sometime (I mean, one can hope), and that time is now, because I have someone new to be insane about: the future human currently attached to my innards.

Fortunately for friends, family, people who don’t hate my company and hopefully the tiny person in my body, I don’t screw up everything ALL the time (I hope). I have a well-behaved, well-trained, friendly dog who loves me. I have a job that makes me really happy. I am partnered with the most amazing baby daddy in all of creation. And I know a little about words and pictures. So that’s what thejulieeffect.com is about. Things I know (not much). Things I don’t (a lot). Words and pictures. And now, baby.

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